Despite how sad life can seem sometimes, the truth is that I feel so lucky to wake up everyday and live.
Most recently, I find myself feeling so blessed to be on a one week getaway to Santa Fe. My husband is here for work, at a training for his new job. So while he gets to sit in his training learning lots and lots, I get to pretty much enjoy Santa Fe.
Needless to say, the horrible pregnancy symptoms of bloating, nausea, fatigue, and constipation seem a bit less awful when surrounded by such beauty and pleasure.
I must admit that this is the most I've gotten out in a couple of months. I have been enclosing myself in a cocoon or nest back in Bisbee/Tucson trying to gather the energy to smile after a long day of nausea and dizziness. But slowly, things are looking up. Here in Santa Fe, I can't exactly sit myself in a room all day, so I've gathered the strength to tough it out and get out of the hotel. After all, how lucky am I to be here?! Very!
This place is simply beautiful. The buildings are so charming full of galleries and shops (sort of like bisbee) but with a jardin like in salvatierra. In short, it really is magical, and the food is abso-lutely delicious...I've been eating as much as my stomach can handle. I love love chiles, and this is an ingredient as crucial to Santa Fe cuisine as salt is to mexican food. They have a variety of versions, red and green chile and surprizingly many of their plates are vegetarian! Which is just amazing.
And even more strange, is the fact that I actually feel like working and being productive here. I dont know what it is about me, I think I am just plain crazy sometimes, irrational in so many ways...but I swear that whenever I find myself in beautiful or interesting places, instead of having the urge to explore and look around, I instead get this pulse and urging desire to just write, to be productive, to use my mind and brain in some sort of way. I even feel like drawing or watercoloring. It's like the creative part of my brain, or whatever is left of it, suddenly revitalizes and feels young again. I feel like exploring...but not the beautiful exterior elements and environment of the town, the shops, the streets, the churches, the buildings, the restaurants, the people, the weather---no, i feel like exploring alright, but exploring the interior part of my world, a part that seldom gets any attention these days.
Anyway, here I am. In Santa Fe. We arrived sunday evening and are here till friday. It's tuesday now, and I am loving every minute of it. The days are filled with thinking and pondering and the evenings are filled with love in the sweet company of the man that gives me this; space to be myself and to love waking up everyday and live.
The nausea and feelings of sickness comes and goes, but overall, I'm pushing myself to get the many piling tasks scratched off that dreaded mental list of to do's.
So far I'm working on a narrative for my comprehensive exams portfolio, an assignment I have put off for way too long. Alas! There is progress! ....And on an entire different level, getting the details finalized for my sister and her hubby's baby shower. After that its baby names and baby registry. So much to think about before the baby comes (yes, I do feel scared to think about the future, but i keep telling myself..nope nothing but positive thoughts in this scenario).
a couple more to do's i am forcing myself to accomplish before my trip is over:
..........take some photos of this beautiful place.....
.......enjoy...don't take any minute for granted....
Showing posts with label environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label environment. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Shared Environments
The weekend has ended.
As I sat here getting ready to doze off into a restful sleep, I felt the sudden urge to reflect for a moment, and well, write. It's just that this weekend was particularly special. I didn't do anything of great significance or anything but rather I guess I am just loving the way I felt these last couple of days. It's almost like if I felt myself growing...or at least beginning to chip away at the edges of uncertainty that many of us know way too very well.
I had picked up the Bisbee Observer, a local newspaper that detailed upcoming community events, and was suddenly inspired to go hiking. The paper detailed a guided walk to a ranch (I can't quite recall the name) and the other was a guided walk in the San Pedro River. One was at 7 am on Saturday and the other was at 8 am, also on Saturday. Though I love mornings, we ended up going to the 8 am one because we were way too tired to wake up on time for the 7 am.
So as I was saying, the walk was a guided tour of the San Pedro River and it was free! Though we had both been there before and absolutely loved it, we thought it might be a good idea to learn a little about this beautiful place, I call it the place with the trees and Ray knows I'm talking about the river. So there we were. Lucky for us no one else showed up so we had the guides all to ourselves, they gave us so much information, and encouraged us to ask as many questions as possible and even asked what our interests where so they could taylor what they shared with us to meet our interests.
They shared that there are many people this time of year who come out to see the birds, and so they focus on all the information about birds, and then there's others who come for the plants, or whose interests are focused on the cultural history of the place, or who are archeologists, or people interested in the water, or in the insects, and that depending on what we were interested in there was wealth of information to share. At first, I had no idea what to say...I mean first I would have to ask myself...why am I interested? and second, what am I interested in? I had no answer for myself so I was silent. My instinct was that I just found the place beautiful but I was unsure if that was a good enough answer. Lucky for me Ray jumped in and said..well we are interested in the history. and I was.
So the walk began. The guides are all volunteers and they call themselves "Friends of the San Pedro River." They are extremely knowledgeable, and super kind. Slowly they began to point out a series of details, about the kind of grasses that grow there and which ones are native to the area and which ones are not. Then they began to point out particular insects, and then they pointed out these checkered butterflies that I had not even noticed. They pointed out the mequite trees and how they grow in bosques, or woodlands, and the cottonwood trees and how they rely on the water of the river. Then they showed us these birds and the seeds of certain plants. With each step we took a new detail about our surroundings was unveiled, sounds that were previously dormant began to dance around in my ears, images and details I had glanced over became crystal clear and even my nose began to notice a myriad of smells and scents that slowly triggered my curiousity and mind to wander. This layer of sensory experiences was then followed by a series of details about the cultural history of the people and the animals that had existed and lived in this area before.
And then out of all of it...reflection kicked in. The guides were showing us the many ways in which all of those individual elements of nature were so very alive and interconnected, how each insect, each grass piece, each bird, how they all share a relationship with each other, and the ways in which they rely on one another to accomplish their own existence. One example they mentioned, was regarding the birds, the birds use the San Pedro to migrate from north to south and from south to north (yes! despite the stupid border, birds migrate to and from Mexico too :)!). That without the water and the monsoons and the rain that maintains the river, the trees would not grow, so the birds would not have the shade, shelter, and food they need to migrate and survive.
I learned so much in just that moment. I know that I should know this but I guess knowing can have many layers and levels of comprehension. And I guess I had not realized it in the way that I realized it in that moment in time. I realized just then, after 30 years of existence, that our lives are shared. Our existence is a series of shared environments with so many different creatures, plants, and nature. We all depend on one another and we all have our own internal knowledge of fixing and defending and displaying and existing and problematizing what is needed and what nature requires of us. I've always believed that there's a shared energy in the world, but after saturday, I'm convinced that it goes beyond energy, its a shared existence, a shared environment with the world. And with that we share a responsibility with all these ecosystems. I learned that whenever a change occurs with one thing it affects intentionally and unintentionally a series of other things. So of course, given my passion for immigration, I can't help but wonder what great damage, environmentally, the border does to our shared environments. I wonder what animals can no longer migrate during harsh weather conditions, what they must think when they confront that steel wall. I wonder how confused they must feel upon that barrier, or if they simply find ways around it.
I could write pages and pages about all the neat factoids and realizations that came about that lovely morning, but my words would pale in comparison to actually experiencing, understanding, and most of all feeling what I felt in that moment. I was absolutely and positively present. I was with the trees and the birds and the butterflies, and the noises of the wind against the cottonwood trees, the sounds of the our guides voices, the steps of my husband's footsteps, I was so very present and felt so very alive.
So before I put myself to sleep, I guess I just wanted to write about this experience, it's definitely one I do not want to forget.
Oh..and it's worth noting that after that walk, (aside from the beauty of the place) I guess I have a series of things I know I'm interested in and I also know why...so much so that I had to pick up a book from the San Pedro House Bookstore...I was so fascinated and intrigued and excited, I wanted to learn more and more. I'll have to write an update about what I discover...but I'm so excited about the title: Conservation of Shared Environments: Learning from the United States and Mexico. One reviewer wrote "a comprehensive look at the challenges of conserving the interconnected ecosystems and migratory linkages shared by Mexico and the United States" (I can't wait to read it!)
but for now...in the words of my hubby...sleeeeeepy time...:)
As I sat here getting ready to doze off into a restful sleep, I felt the sudden urge to reflect for a moment, and well, write. It's just that this weekend was particularly special. I didn't do anything of great significance or anything but rather I guess I am just loving the way I felt these last couple of days. It's almost like if I felt myself growing...or at least beginning to chip away at the edges of uncertainty that many of us know way too very well.
I had picked up the Bisbee Observer, a local newspaper that detailed upcoming community events, and was suddenly inspired to go hiking. The paper detailed a guided walk to a ranch (I can't quite recall the name) and the other was a guided walk in the San Pedro River. One was at 7 am on Saturday and the other was at 8 am, also on Saturday. Though I love mornings, we ended up going to the 8 am one because we were way too tired to wake up on time for the 7 am.
So as I was saying, the walk was a guided tour of the San Pedro River and it was free! Though we had both been there before and absolutely loved it, we thought it might be a good idea to learn a little about this beautiful place, I call it the place with the trees and Ray knows I'm talking about the river. So there we were. Lucky for us no one else showed up so we had the guides all to ourselves, they gave us so much information, and encouraged us to ask as many questions as possible and even asked what our interests where so they could taylor what they shared with us to meet our interests.
They shared that there are many people this time of year who come out to see the birds, and so they focus on all the information about birds, and then there's others who come for the plants, or whose interests are focused on the cultural history of the place, or who are archeologists, or people interested in the water, or in the insects, and that depending on what we were interested in there was wealth of information to share. At first, I had no idea what to say...I mean first I would have to ask myself...why am I interested? and second, what am I interested in? I had no answer for myself so I was silent. My instinct was that I just found the place beautiful but I was unsure if that was a good enough answer. Lucky for me Ray jumped in and said..well we are interested in the history. and I was.
So the walk began. The guides are all volunteers and they call themselves "Friends of the San Pedro River." They are extremely knowledgeable, and super kind. Slowly they began to point out a series of details, about the kind of grasses that grow there and which ones are native to the area and which ones are not. Then they began to point out particular insects, and then they pointed out these checkered butterflies that I had not even noticed. They pointed out the mequite trees and how they grow in bosques, or woodlands, and the cottonwood trees and how they rely on the water of the river. Then they showed us these birds and the seeds of certain plants. With each step we took a new detail about our surroundings was unveiled, sounds that were previously dormant began to dance around in my ears, images and details I had glanced over became crystal clear and even my nose began to notice a myriad of smells and scents that slowly triggered my curiousity and mind to wander. This layer of sensory experiences was then followed by a series of details about the cultural history of the people and the animals that had existed and lived in this area before.
And then out of all of it...reflection kicked in. The guides were showing us the many ways in which all of those individual elements of nature were so very alive and interconnected, how each insect, each grass piece, each bird, how they all share a relationship with each other, and the ways in which they rely on one another to accomplish their own existence. One example they mentioned, was regarding the birds, the birds use the San Pedro to migrate from north to south and from south to north (yes! despite the stupid border, birds migrate to and from Mexico too :)!). That without the water and the monsoons and the rain that maintains the river, the trees would not grow, so the birds would not have the shade, shelter, and food they need to migrate and survive.
I learned so much in just that moment. I know that I should know this but I guess knowing can have many layers and levels of comprehension. And I guess I had not realized it in the way that I realized it in that moment in time. I realized just then, after 30 years of existence, that our lives are shared. Our existence is a series of shared environments with so many different creatures, plants, and nature. We all depend on one another and we all have our own internal knowledge of fixing and defending and displaying and existing and problematizing what is needed and what nature requires of us. I've always believed that there's a shared energy in the world, but after saturday, I'm convinced that it goes beyond energy, its a shared existence, a shared environment with the world. And with that we share a responsibility with all these ecosystems. I learned that whenever a change occurs with one thing it affects intentionally and unintentionally a series of other things. So of course, given my passion for immigration, I can't help but wonder what great damage, environmentally, the border does to our shared environments. I wonder what animals can no longer migrate during harsh weather conditions, what they must think when they confront that steel wall. I wonder how confused they must feel upon that barrier, or if they simply find ways around it.
I could write pages and pages about all the neat factoids and realizations that came about that lovely morning, but my words would pale in comparison to actually experiencing, understanding, and most of all feeling what I felt in that moment. I was absolutely and positively present. I was with the trees and the birds and the butterflies, and the noises of the wind against the cottonwood trees, the sounds of the our guides voices, the steps of my husband's footsteps, I was so very present and felt so very alive.
So before I put myself to sleep, I guess I just wanted to write about this experience, it's definitely one I do not want to forget.
Oh..and it's worth noting that after that walk, (aside from the beauty of the place) I guess I have a series of things I know I'm interested in and I also know why...so much so that I had to pick up a book from the San Pedro House Bookstore...I was so fascinated and intrigued and excited, I wanted to learn more and more. I'll have to write an update about what I discover...but I'm so excited about the title: Conservation of Shared Environments: Learning from the United States and Mexico. One reviewer wrote "a comprehensive look at the challenges of conserving the interconnected ecosystems and migratory linkages shared by Mexico and the United States" (I can't wait to read it!)
but for now...in the words of my hubby...sleeeeeepy time...:)
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