Friday, November 21, 2014

Executive Action and "Being Happy with What we Got"

I came home last night so exhausted and with not much energy to even look at my phone and read up on any facebook updates.  It has been such an emotion filled couple of days that I am still processing what I feel.

Our community has been fighting for so long for some sort of relief and now we have it, that it is still difficult to have a reaction.  This is undeniably such a HUGE victory, but yet so many people have been left out of the celebration.  I’ve read posts this morning saying that we “should be happy with what we get” that we should be grateful to Obama for “giving us something.”  These words alone “what we are getting” remind me that this is not something we are getting from ANYONE. 
This is something our community has achieved, a huge milestone given the context in which our families live on the day to day.  We have exposed the ugliness and complex nature of immigration.  We have exposed the racism that still penetrates, breathes, and lives in the fabric of our society.  We have brought to light the injustices for people of color in Arizona and nationwide.  We have RESISTED and learned to resist from the people who live the reality of living in the label of illegality on a daily basis, despite an entire system designed to oppress them and keep them in a status of illegitimacy and trauma.  We have witnessed our families resist this very system that targets and harasses and hurts and kills through the construction of shifting borders that exclude and divide.   
We have resisted and learned to resist from the leadership of organizations who through various tactics have moved the movement for human rights forward.  We have resisted and learned to resist from our youth, from students and dreamers who questioned the status quo, who risked arrest, and continue to experiment with ways to demand more from this process that continues to deny our families the human rights we continue to exercise and know we have.  This is a HUGE victory for ourselves, we have exposed this problem and forced the United States to recognize its need to address the mess they know they have but a mess that our community has loudly and passionately been screaming is NOT okay and it is something we are TAKING NO MORE OF. 
While the administration thinks this is enough, we all know in our hearts that it’s not.  But should we be happy, YES! We have came this far in pushing for the recognition of our human rights and while this is not the answer nor the cure for this sick society that profits and sustains itself from the exploitation of people of color, it is a step in the right direction, a step to reenergize our movement and continue fighting till brown and illegal cease to be synonymous, to continue fighting till the stigma of criminality is shifted away from the sweat of immigrant workers, till every single mother no longer has to worry about abandoning their children when and if they are kidnapped by our government through detention and deportation, till every student is able to focus on living his or her dreams and their education instead of on trying to protect the status of their families, till we are finished teaching fear to our children by having to have conversations about la migra, till speaking Espanol is something we value rather than denigrate, till ethnic studies is recognized as a necessary component of our history and education, the fight will continue till  these and so many other important issues are resolved in our community, the fight continues. 
We know from Ferguson and various other communities that despite their legality, being a person of color continues to be a problem in the United States, we have scratched the surface of a much deeply rooted historical element of America’s tradition.  But in this tradition, the struggle continues and I know our community is far from done, we will continue moving forward.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Miguel Maldonado Vallejo

This year has been filled with so many highs and lows, one of the lowest was flying to Mexico to see my grandfather die.  I never did see him pass, I was there and while family gathered around him, and filled the room with love for him, he fed off our energy and in many ways, came back to life

it was

indescribable.

and yet i want to try to recall it because i know this moment changed me.  i never witnessed such strength, such love for family, as when i stood nearby watching his beautiful eyes hold me

the days, so many of them, have passed
and in moments I have forgotten about him,
and then I have days like these,
days in which I feel weak and scared or hurt and his image comes to my mind
he holds me once again,
and i feel loved
I feel lucky
I feel blessed that I had a chance to tell him, that I love him, and that I treasure him.
We spent the time that we had, loving him, listening, laughing at his jokes, trying to give to him what we couldn't give so many days that we did have
so many missed opportunities
that's what life is
we embrace one thing and lose another
I had to travel back "home," before he finally said his goodbyes
I had a job
a family of my own
a son
a life away from Mexico
away from the place that I most love, perhaps because it exist so far away from me now
because I can't live in it anymore
or so I tell myself

anyway these are just words
but i want to record it in my memory that i miss this old man
my grandpa
my papa miguel
my vallejo
the reason i proudly call myself maldonado

te extrano, hoy, y siempre

muchas veces no te entendi,
pero ahora eso es lo de menos

we learn that when it is too late