and the week has already been filled with a gazillion to do's. Yup, the holidays are here! Normally I am super hyped and excited about the holidays. I don't know what it is exactly. Perhaps its the christmas carols on the radio or the yummy scent of pumpkin spice, the seasonal drinks and pastries or the chaos and excitement in the streets, redecorating the house, or the simple fact that you get to spend it with family. Perhaps its all those things, that culminate and make me feel like a kid before my first day of school. Nervous, happy, excited.
Not this year.
Yup, I said it...I think for some reason as you grow older things just get so freaking complicated. The holiday drama you heard about in passing, somehow becomes your reality and there you are, in the middle of it, dreading thanksgiving, dreading christmas, and just wishing; just wishing for january first to come around so you can start writing the date wrong on things and smile at the realization that once again, a year has passed and a new one has begun.
Yes, I am so very ready for January 1st. Still, I don't live in a rock, and like most difficult things in life, sometimes you just have to suck it up and face the music.
Needless to say, I am a little frustrated, anxious, and worried. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and soon after that is the dilemma of christmas. The dilemma lies in the fact that now that I am married holidays no longer have anything to do with cheer and everything to do with negotiation. Where to go? Whose house to visit? Who's mad at us? Why are we not staying in touch?
To try to resolve this dilemma my hubby and I decided that the best way to be fair and inclusive of all our family, would be to have thanksgiving at our house. That way everyone is invited and we don't have to be the bad guys. Dilemma solved right? Wrong.
Instead, we now have more questions to haunt us. Who's coming for thanksgiving? Who's not coming? Why aren't they coming? Who's mad at us? Who are we not including? Who feels left out?
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear I really don't want to deal with it! No matter which way you place things, it seems someone always ends up being hurt.
I simply don't get it, why can't everyone just come together and celebrate the meaning of holidays? In the end, its not about the food or the carols or the pretty surroundings, or even the holiday itself. I think it's really about picking a random day--stealing a moment in time-- to love life and reflect on all its given us, or on how its kicked the shit out of us and yet we are still here; living...
aghhhhh.....i dont know how thanksgiving will actually turn out, or if i'll succeed in my plan to boycott christmas, but for now..i think i'll enjoy the journey there....i'm off to get the house ready for thanksgiving...and perhaps take a couple of breaks here and there to enjoy a yummy piece of pumpkin pie...why not? yeah, i don't love pumpkin pie..but it is that time of year...minus will enjoy it while it lasts....
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