UP - d o w n

So despite all my fears for a depressing and catastrophic thanksgiving..it all turned out to be a surprisingly wonderful holiday weekend.  I had an amazing time cooking with my dad and getting schooled on the proper way to cut an onion...it was amazing! it was so good to be with my husband and thank god for all the ups and downs that life can bring us...in one year had a new job twice, moved twice, and got pregnant twice, not to mention losing Rudy.  Not everyone we love was present at our thanksgiving table..but it was a beautiful table and they were definitely present in our hearts.  We ate a gazillion amount of food...it is almost sinful if you think about it..but it was what it was and we loved it.  By the end of the night everyone crashed tired as can be, there was no dancing as there usually is...but that's okay.  There was enough dancing of flavors in our mouth as it was, any more movement would have ended in a painful and regretful experience....:)

Anyhow, the next day was of course Black Friday...and while my hubby and I are not experienced in this quite grand event...we figured we would make an effort to check it out and see what all the fuzz was about.  Sure enough..it was a very big deal! for a lot of people...and we make as much fun of the deal while having fun as we could...my conclusion is that it's definitely a fever that you can catch...the deal hunting is contagious..and the energy of the crazy people running around in a frenzy...made us laugh and overall we had a great time.  My husband found a wonderful deal on a suit...and we got matching ASU sweatshirts!  (which we are planning to wear to my very first live football game! ;))( < --The smile is for my husband, I'm still hesitant to cave in..but for him...anything!) Anyhow...we also stood in line at banana republic to purchase what is for certain the greatest deal on a shirt ever! $6 bucks! can you believe it?! We just made the best of the experience and got what we put in...a fun time!

The next day, my mother in law came down to see us.  This was the cherry on top of the whole weekend, because it had been a while since we had hung out together.  We went to the movies and hung out and were lazy bums watching desperate housewives and the food network (my favorite).  We had a wonderful time overall! and wish every weekend was as up and this one was for us, afterall. 

Of course....reality is always a bully...and soon enough has pushed me down so badly that just yesterday i was envisioning a way to crawl into a rock and suffocate.  I did not want to breathe or live, I swear! How does this happen? How do wonderful things happen and you feel this life high that is so profound and wonderful..and in seconds...you get pushed back down into the lowest low you could imagine.  You feel like your life has been turned upside down and nothing, i mean nothing makes any sense.  Before you know it you feel so insignificant.  That's life I guess.

So what happned....aghh.....it's something we knew would happen..but weren't counting on it, till say a year! our house in phoenix got foreclosed, sold, within one freaking month of being denied for a loan modification program.  I hate them! Literally.  They totally screwed everything up and I don't want to go into more details..because its pointless...but b a s i c a l l y (as i like to say)...something went terribly wrong..and we are dealing with it.  Happily..i have a wonderful husband and family...and we have faith everything will be okay in the end.

So today, I've been soooo out of it all...My sister's baby shower is this saturday and I've tried to stay focused on helping her out with that..but i swear im so out of sorts over the whole deal.  I feel like such a failure for losing the house...but it is what it is...

so when things seem to go wrong for me...the only thing that will cheer me up is food....that sounds so bad...like i'm some sort of addict...but that's okay, right?

and so...my most recent accomplishment...butternut squash soup....yumm! just waiting for hubby to come in and say husband home! so we can dive in....

That's the wonderful thing about food, you make it and its done...no waiting for the rewards...:) it lifts you up...when you feel so damn down...:)